Home News Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

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Each day Kos’s Sarah Hogg writes:

With Texas’ new legislation in impact—banning abortions earlier than most individuals even know they’re pregnant—the typical one-way driving distance to an abortion clinic has elevated twentyfold. When Texans must drive out-of-state to entry care, which means increased gasoline prices, doable in a single day stays, and any associated prices related to having to journey, like childcare or taking unpaid break day of labor. That’s why offering assist for abortion care isn’t nearly funding for the process itself—it’s about guaranteeing each space of the affected person’s life is taken care of.

These abortion funds present small grants and/or sensible help (housing, transportation, childcare, lodging, and translation providers) to individuals looking for abortion care. Every abortion fund listed works of their communities to take away boundaries to abortion entry.

When you really feel so inclined, click here and spread a donation across the chosen funds via ActBlue, or target your donation to specific funds. Many thanks.

And now, our characteristic presentation…

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, September 21, 2021

Observe: what we’ve not tried but? We’ve not tried yelling actually loud: “Go away, Covid-19!!! We don’t need you right here!!! Go away now!” I say we give it a whirl. If it really works I am going to listing you all as Nobel Prize for Drugs co-recipients. After which we will see if it really works on rickets.  —Dr. Billy

By the Numbers:

HippieFest2021Indiana.jpg
4 days!!!

Days ’til Autumn: 1

Days ’til Hippie Fest in Tipton, Indiana: 4

Individuals polled by Gallup who thought the pandemic was getting higher in June and August, respectively: 89%, 15%

Portion of Individuals polled by Fox Information who assist masks mandates for academics, college students, employees, and clients: 2-in-3

Common worth of a gallon of gasoline: $3.19

Quantity that Boston‘s “skinny house”—which is simply six ft huge—simply bought for: $1.2 million

Estimated variety of visits to Maine‘s Acadia Nationwide Park this 12 months, topping 2018’s report 3.5 million: 4 million

Pet Pic of the Day: Zero p.c return price, I’m guessing…

JEERS to our high story as mandated by legislation: the physique of Gabby Petito, a blonde white feminine whose declare to fame was posting stuff on You Tube and Instagram and who went lacking ten days in the past, has been found in Bridger-Teton Nationwide  Park. The media’s justification for fixating on this case as if it was the beginning of World Warfare III, then again, has not. However they promise to proceed not trying simply as exhausting as they’ll, proper after they’ve completed their particular Gabby Petito editions of Dateline, Nightline, 20/20, 48 Hours, The View, 60 Minutes, Inside Version, and Maury.

CHEERS to ballot dancing. Did you hear about all of the bullshit that occurred throughout yesterday’s elections? The bullying and intimidation? The unimaginable ID necessities? The standing in line for hours? The ban on passing out meals and water? The try by the postmaster common to thwart mail-in ballots by junking sorting gear and ripping out mailboxes? The deafening accusations of voter fraud? And, after all, the threats to nullify the outcomes and set up the losers? In fact you did not. That is as a result of the elections had been held one flooring above us in Canada, and so they do issues effectively and pretty. And the most important winner of the day is…

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At the least I hope he’s. I wrote this 22 hours in the past, counting on my superior analytical abilities and number-crunching skill. How’d I do?

JEERS to fallen heroes. 32 years in the past right now, the Senate Armed Forces Committee unanimously confirmed Normal Colin Powell as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Employees.  He kicked the Iraqi military’s ass in the course of the first Gulf warfare, however as Secretary of State received trounced by the military of civilian neocons in the course of the second.  Hope you are having fun with your retirement with just one buttock, sir.

BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

JEERS to unelected overlords. Apparently the Senate, which isn’t a parliament, has somebody referred to as a “parliamentarian” who was snuck in by King George III again in seventeen one thing one thing, and whose job is to be very, very quiet throughout Republican administrations, however then when Democrats take management emerge from the door on the high of a big cuckoo clock that hangs on the Senate wall and yell, “You possibly can’t DO that! You possibly can’t DO that! You possibly can’t DO that!”

Senate Democrats doubtless won’t be able to incorporate a pathway to legalization for hundreds of thousands of immigrants of their $3.5 trillion invoice to increase the nation’s social security internet after new steering from the Senate parliamentarian Sunday night time.

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On the intense aspect, the parliamentarian says the funds might embody Salisbury steak each Thursday night time down on the grange corridor.

The choice comes as a convincing rebuke to Democrats, in keeping with a supply with direct information of the scenario.

Senate Majority Chief Chuck Schumer vows to take decisive motion by trying over his grandpa glasses and studying offended phrases along with his mouth from a chunk of paper. Assuming, after all, the parliamentarian says he can DO that.

CHEERS to America‘s favourite literary boogeyman. 74 skulls go on the birthday cake of most-famous-Mainer Stephen King, born September 21, 1947 in Portland.  King is an unabashed Democrat (actively but Quixotically attempting to dislodge Senator Susan Collins from her perch each six years) who is not afraid to talk his thoughts, which he sometimes does by blowing up twitter:

» Tucker Carlson is your fundamental white, well-fed, complacent and entitled fuckdoodle.

» 76 trombones led the massive parade? 110 cornets proper behind? Are you kidding? If all of them performed without delay, the decibels would blow your eardrums proper out of your asshole.

» Once I’m having a foul day–and this was one–I merely remind myself of 1 factor: DONALD TRUMP ISN’T PRESIDENT! Then I cheer up.

» If I had a cooking program on TV, I may name it Crepe Present.

» Simply need to say that I’ve recognized a number of Karens in my lifetime who had been completely good and socially aware and funky to animals and put on masks in Walmart.

» Good writing is a delight to those that learn it and a thriller to those that write it.

» Three phrases that totally clarify what’s mistaken with American politics within the 2020s: Senator Ted Cruz.

» A black man who incited a mob to storm the Capital of america could be in jail or lifeless. Most likely the latter.

» When you Google “What number of instances a day does the typical individual”, the best choice is fart. Who knew?

At present’s particular within the C&J watering gap, as all the time: half-off Redrum and Cokes.

Ten years in the past in C&J: September 21, 2011

JEERS to unhealthy medication. The best way we’re combating “the drug warfare” kinda jogs my memory of the best way we have been combating our two bang-bang ones: we spent all our power combating the dumb warfare (Iraq/Marijuana), whereas ignoring the one price combating (Afghanistan/pharmaceuticals). From the Los Angeles Times:

Propelled by a rise in prescription narcotic overdoses, drug deaths now outnumber visitors fatalities in america, a Occasions evaluation of presidency knowledge has discovered. […]

Overdose victims vary in age and circumstance from youngsters who pop capsules to get a heroin-like excessive to middle-aged working women and men who take medicines prescribed for strained backs and bum knees and change into addicted.

Naturally, the federal authorities has taken decisive motion by doubling its efforts to go after pot people who smoke. That is the form of logic that makes me abuse Valium. [9/21/21 Update: The opioid death cult leaders in the Sackler family, now in bankruptcy, have tried mightily to wriggle out of responsibility for their role in the carnage. To his credit, Attorney General Merrick Garland has another plan. I hope it involves a large cage in the public square and several baskets of rotten tomatoes. For starters.]

And only one extra…

Portland, Maine from above
With the Again Cove as its eye socket, and the Fore River as its mouth, Portland appears like a creepy cranium. No marvel Stephen King wished to be born right here.

CHEERS to “The Method Life Ought to Be.”  Twenty-eight years in the past right now—September 21, 1993—my associate Michael (“Frequent Sense Mainer” right here on Planet Orange) and I arrived by way of Ryder transferring van within the liberal paradise often known as Portland, Maine, having escaped the rust-belt hamlet of Saginaw, Michigan (motto: “No Smiling: It Simply Encourages the Youngsters”).  We had no jobs, solely a smidgeon of financial savings, and an condo that gave us barely any warmth however did give us a January heating invoice of $318.

Twenty-eight years later we’re nonetheless right here and we have now nothing however form phrases for our dwelling. (Particularly since we booted our lunatic Trump clone governor just a few years again.) Portland is consistently making Prime 10 lists for awesomeness: most livable metropolis, finest place to retire, good spot for canines, the humanities, meals, working, taking part in, consuming, vacationing and yadda yadda yadda. We hate to brag.

So, yeah—we love our little nook of the world, and we hope you are feeling the identical method about yours. Developing tonight: our annual good luck custom of releasing a Maine lobster into the wild. This 12 months’s is 60 ft tall and weighs three tons. What may go mistaken?

Have a tolerable Tuesday. Ground’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about right now?

At present’s Shameless C&J Testimonial

“There are lots of people on the market, independents and Republicans within the suburbs of the crucial states that assume Invoice in Portland Maine is an asshole. They assume he acts like an asshole, and he is received to start out taking that into consideration.”

Bill Barr